What you taught me

Hey Colleen, you ready to hear the truth now?

Ready to hear all the whys, whens, and hows?

I can’t believe you were the one I used to look up to,

I can’t believe all the shit you put me through.

You used to be a motherfucking hero to me,

Now I look at you like a washed-up wannabe.

Younger me was always trying to make you proud,

Praying so damn hard that you would just stick around.

I wish I could hold little me and tell her, “It’ll be okay.”

Tell her that she never, ever deserved to be treated that way.

’Cause the abuse and abandonment you put me through—

I was just a kid.

I didn’t deserve that from you.

I became the one who smiled when I was broken,

Kept everything inside, left so much unspoken.

I learned too young to confuse lust with love,

To mistake being wanted for being enough.

I stayed when every part of me screamed to run,

Looking for love in the damage already done.

And some things were taken—I never gave them away.

There are wounds from that girl I still carry today.

And the one you blamed for the so-called abuse

Is the one who ended up saving my life.

Funny how your jealousy and selfishness showed

When I finally had somebody standing by my side.

Thirty-four years later, now I’ve got babies of my own,

And raising them showed me everything I should’ve known.

I look at my babies and it fucks with my head,

How you competed with your daughter when you could’ve loved me instead.

Every win I had, you had to make it a race,

Couldn’t let me shine without needing your place.

Everything I did, somehow you did it better—

Like being my mother meant we were competing together.

I could never make my babies question my love,

Never tear them down just to build myself up.

They’ll never have to pray that their mama will stay,

Or spend their whole lives wondering why she walked away.

They don’t have to compete just to know they’re enough.

They don’t have to earn their mother’s love.

So you can keep your lies and your crocodile tears,

I’m done carrying the weight after all these years.

I wasn’t your competition.

I was your kid.

You taught me what a mother should never be.

And the one thing you thought I’d never do?

I broke the cycle.

It ends with me.