Creed

My wife went off to Vegas

Just a couple days away

So I went down to the shelter

Had an idea that couldn’t wait

I found a little fella

And I brought that bastard home

Surprised her when she walked in

Now he won’t leave us alone

[Pre-Chorus]

His name is Rockaford

He’s got no balls at all

He follows us from room to room

And cries out down the hall

[Chorus]

Oh, Rockaford and the Poos

Two little assholes that we didn’t choose

Well, I guess we did, but that’s beside the point

One wants love, one runs the joint

Rockaford’s scared of the TV

The Poos just screams relentlessly

Every morning, seven on the dot

“Where’s my wet pussy food? You forgot!”

[Verse 2]

Now the Poos was here before him

And she did not approve

When Rockaford showed up

She was in a real bad mood

For nearly one whole year

She wouldn’t sit upon my lap

She looked at me like I’d betrayed her

Every time I tried to pat

But she’s finally forgiven me

At least that’s what I assume

She likes her pets aggressive

Like I’m trying to buff a shoe

[Chorus]

Oh, Rockaford and the Poos

Two little assholes that we didn’t choose

One’s got attitude, one’s got no nuts

But somehow we still love their guts

Rockaford’s scared of the TV

The Poos demands her food from me

Every morning, seven on the dot

“Where’s my wet pussy food? You forgot!”

[Bridge]

Rockaford sees the television

And runs like someone’s breaking in

The Poos just sits there judging him

Like, “Jesus Christ, grow some skin”

But Rockaford can’t grow balls

Those disappeared some time ago

So he climbs up on our chest instead

Because personal space means no

[Final Chorus]

Oh, Rockaford and the Poos

Our furniture’s covered, our sleep we lose

One wakes us up, one won’t leave

There’s cat hair on everything we own and breathe